What Are The Warning Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship?

Emotional abuse is one type of domestic abuse or violence in California. Other types of abuse can include physical, sexual, and verbal abuse. A domestic violence charge or divorcing an emotionally abusive spouse comes with specific considerations and concerns.

What Exactly is Emotional Abuse?

Broadly speaking, abusers use emotional abuse tactics to control their partners by utilizing emotions to embarrass, manipulate, and shame them. The most common forms of emotional abuse include:

• Gaslighting – Gaslighting increases confusion and self-doubt, which makes an individual question themselves and their feelings, causing them to have difficulty making decisions for themselves.
• Projection – This involves the abuser shifting blame and responsibility from themselves to the abused.

What Are The Warning Signs of Emotional Abuse?

It can be difficult to recognize emotional abuse. However, knowing the warning signs may help:

• Isolation and Control – Your spouse controls when and how much time you can go out and whom you can see. Your spouse may also monitor your phone calls, text messages, and social media. The main goal is to keep you isolated from your family and friends.
• Withholding Emotions – This occurs when your spouse displays their anger or disappointment by not showing emotion. It may increase your anxiety and fear because you might feel confused, isolated, abandoned, and unworthy of your spouse’s love.
• Stonewalling – This can take on many forms, such as refusing to answer questions or respond to what you’re saying, dismissing your feelings, not looking at you, or simply walking away during contentious discussions.
• Love Bombing – This involves being overloaded or “bombed” by gifts and compliments by your spouse. Your spouse would later use these as tools to manipulate you. This tactic is typically used after an irrational behavior or intense rage display, you’re your spouse.

How Can Emotional Abuse Impact a Divorce?

Any kind of violence or abuse in a marriage usually escalates when the abused spouse asks for a divorce or threatens to leave the abuser. Before filing for divorce, you can request a restraining order against your spouse to safeguard you and your kids from your abusive spouse.

In California, if the court determines that a parent has committed domestic abuse against their spouse, child, or another individual in a relationship with them in the past five years, a presumption exists that the abusive individual shouldn’t receive physical child custody.

In addition, if your spouse has a history of domestic violence against you in the past five years, a presumption also exists that they’re not entitled to alimony or spousal support. Family courts can also consider domestic abuse when distributing marital property even when they wouldn’t have otherwise considered evidence of misconduct or fault.

Reach Out to an Experienced Santa Barbara Divorce Lawyer Now

If you’re considering filing for divorce and your case involves emotional abuse or other kinds of spousal abuse, you can discuss your case with our Santa Barbara divorce lawyer to protect your safety and legal rights. To set up your free case review, you can reach us by phone at 805-643-5555 or online.